Monday, November 06, 2006
That Patroits game was supremely frustrating. My hatred of Peyton Manning and his pantheon of advertisements grows daily. Plus it was painful for my brain to handle all of the former-Wolverine-on-former-Wolverine action when Tom Brady went up against Cato June. Oh, and seeing Adam Vinatieri in that blue and white was a great deal more agonizing than I had thought it was going to be. So let's move on.
Forward down the field,
A charging team that will not yield,
And when the Blue and Silver wave,
Stand and cheer the brave!
Rah! Rah! Rah!
Go hard, win the game.
With honor you will keep your fame.
Down the field and gain
A Lions Victory!
Don't get to write THAT very often.
This was especially enjoyable, given the fact that the last time I had seen the Lions play the Falcons was Thanksgiving of last season, where Michael Vick ran all over the field, dancing here, trotting there, hither and indeed yon, making out with Jim Mora Jr. on the sidelines, doing whatsoever he pleased, so on and so forth. So it was very, very, VERY nice to see the Lions manage to come out on top. All you need to win is a team that has a passable defense and some small modicum of belief in their ability to play football, and a coach whose head is not actually encased within the humid confines of his own lower large intestine while on the field. Who knew?
And so I am proud of the Blue Cats. I am proud of Jon Kitna for playing with what looked like a giant red slug eating his face (and I have no idea when he sustained that; I was dropping my friend off at the airport for part of the game, but I happily DID get to hear the vaguely uncomfortable comments by the announcers about how 'welt-y' it looked near the end). I am proud of the defense for stepping it up and holding on even without their best player. I am proud of Kevin Jones for trying to be a little bit more like Mike Hart every day. I am proud of Mike Furrey for EXISISTING-- in fact, this is a whole separate future entry on its own.
I am not proud of Dre Bly for still insisting on trying to make tackles by slapping at opposing players with his open palms instead of, you know, actually throwing his body at them.
My ire is really reserved for a perhaps unlikely target. I know he's a good player; I know he has potential to be an Amazingly Great Football Player Who Catches the Football Amazingly Well with His Amazing Good Hands. I know he's only 24. I know his arm socks give him extra ball-catching p0w3rzzZZZz and Attitude Points (disclaimer: not an actual stat).
But GODDAMMIT Roy Williams, STOP CELEBRATING AFTER FIRST DOWNS.
You score a touchdown, FINE. You're young, you're exciteable, the Lions are not exactly the biggest offensive powerhouse out there. A touchdown is a time for celebration, within reason. But a first down is (supposed to be) a commonplace occurrence in this game which you are playing, you know, American football, with American football rules, where first downs happen all the time, YOU KNOW THIS ROY.
So when you make a first down, stand up, PULL AN IMAGINARY ARROW FROM AN IMAGINARY HOLSTER ON YOUR BACK, AND FIRE IT DOWN THE FIELD FROM AN IMAGINARY BOW, you are saying one of two things.
Roy Williams' intended message possibility #1:
My team is so freakin' pathetic that we have to sarcastically celebrate first downs, because we will have no other occasions to celebrate during this game. We are barely even a real football team.
Roy Williams' intended message possibility #2:
Hey opposing team, I am showing you up after this relatively low-impact play, because I am an immature cloacaface. Eat my Honolulu Blue and Silver jock.
Quite frankly, neither one of these are messages that Roy should want to be conveying. And this is not first time he's celebrated after a first down either... this time it was just even MORE worth bringing up because he went so far as to FIRE AN IMAGINARY ARROW DOWN THE FIELD. Holy FREAKIN' cats, Roy. Chad Johnson watched you do that, shook his head, and said to himself, "Damn, that kid's a little too excited out there."
That pissed me off at the time, and the more I think about it, the worse it looks. I really don't know why the refs haven't hit him up for excessive celebration already, except I guess it's possible he's catching even the refs off guard... who expects excessive celebration after a first down conversion? Maybe they're too busy laughing at how pathetic it is.
Still. The Falcons aren't a nothing of a team. It's not like we beat the Cardinals (also known as the only team in football worse than the Lions are right now), or even a team keeping badness pace with us, like the Steelers (HA!). And we HAVE had a lot of near-miss games, although that's a little misleading, since usually the games turn into near-misses because the Lions manage to shoot themselves in the paw before the end.
The surprising part about this win was not so much that the Lions played well; it was more the fact that the Lions DIDN'T forget that they have to play all 4 quarters somewhat cleanly.
Anyways. Two-and-six. The season of dreams is NOW!
Labels: football, Lions, NFL, rant, Roy Williams, win