Monday, October 16, 2006
Shock! Awe! Amazement! Seriously, what?
The Lions, uh, won. Uh.
In the grand scheme of apocalyptic football happenings this is not even that far up there. There are probably those who would say that the Lions had to win at some point. The thing is, no they did not. There is no law in the NFL stating that any given team has to have at least one win on their record by the end of the season and the Lions are masters at finding ways to lose. The announcers on Sunday even referred to this in a roundabout way; they called it "Jon Kitna's disappointing 4th quarter numbers so far".
The players say that they care, and at the start of the season it certainly seemed like they cared more than they have in previous years, now that they are free from the soft, lip-tremblingly emo tyranny that apparently was Joey Harrington, but they were still FUNDAMENTALLY the Lions and, therefore, finding ways to lose.
Take last week. I was watching the game with my roommate's boyfriend, Derek. The Lions were lined up, I guess probably in the 4th quarter, and Derek says, "Watch, this one'll be intercepted." Lo and behold, Kitna throws an interception. We both groan, and Derek basks momentarily in his play-calling abilities. BUT WAIT. A flag! "Maybe it'll get overturned," Derek says, in that horrible state of mock-hopefulness in which all Lions fans must dwell in order to remain sane.
"Nah," I say. "Just you wait, it'll be offensive holding on us."
Lo and behold.
That's how bad the Lions are. It is getting so that fans can ACTUALLY PREDICT, play-by-play, ways in which they are going to conspire to lose the game.
So this game, this win, was a surprise. Not necessarily the fact that they were up early, or that they looked like a Real Football Team in the first few quarters. The shocking bit came from the fact that the Bills closed the gap to 3 points... and the Lions held on for the win. If there was one thing that the season thus far had taught us it was that this was impossible. Not just impossible, but unpossible, so impossible that it wasn't even a real word. "The Lions" and "holding onto a lead" were just incompatible ideas. They were oil and water. They were gametes from different species. They just did not go together.
But now the Lions have won a game, and they have won it despite the opposing team feinting in the direction of a late-game comeback. The gametes from different species have mixed and we have our mule. It may be sterile, but by god, it's alive and walking around and eating hay.
I don't know. The universe is a different place today. The Tigers are going to the World Series, Michigan is undefeated, and the Lions have won a game. The only thing I know for sure is, if you're the Buffalo Bills, you're feeling real shitty right about now.
Ah, and I guess I didn't post this, but I was of course at the Michigan/Michigan State game, and the photos from that are all right here. Highlights include shameless Zoltan photography, a cameo by Mike Wallace, and the return of the giant inflatable penis. Good times, good times.
Labels: football, Lions, NFL, win