Monday, May 15, 2006
Rainouts eat my brain. That's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it.
What a bleedin' awful last few days. I had tickets for the Sunday game too, but when a state of emergency was declared I guess it was pretty clear that there wasn't going to be baseball played, although I was rather hoping to go and see Manny contentedly doggypaddling in three feet of standing water in the dugout with a pink bat in his mouth.
Of course it is just my luck to live in one of the hardest-hit areas. Schools all around are closing and half the roads are impassable... I don't know how I'm going to get to The Internship tomorrow, especially if the rain picks up again tonight. I drove in on Saturday and nearly gave myself a great big soaking wet zero-visibility heart attack. There are ducks swimming in my backyard. We do not have a pond in my backyard. At least, we didn't before.
So, anyways, I'm a bit behind, aren't I? I've been a little distracted by things like The Internship and THE DETROIT TIGERS OMFG WHAT. But not so distracted that I haven't noted the following:
-Matsui's injury, speaking as someone who has done endless damage to her wrists during a very unfortunately injury-prone past, was difficult to watch. It's not just that he very very obviously snapped his wrist, what got to me was the way that after his arm came up off the ground, his glove hand was dangling around on the end of it like a puppet with its strings cut. And then NESN decided it was necessary to show this to us A THOUSAND TIMES DURING THE COURSE OF THE BROADCAST, as if once wasn't BAD ENOUGH.
-Tanyon Sturtze is on the DL. Yaaaaaay. I didn't realize you could go on the DL for "pure suck", but I guess if you call it a sore shoulder you can go on the DL for anything these days.
-I understand why they pushed Friday's game through so hard. Everyone knew that the weekend was gonna be a wash, and making up two games in a series is hard enough, let alone three. But I still didn't have to like it. That said, Matt Clement was absolutely right to blame at least part of his troubles on himself and not on the weather, because Kameron Loe was pitching in the same weather and we all know how he looked.
-If you recall the BCRS NonSox and NonTigers List of Players to Shamelessly StatStalk During the Season, you'll recall that Kameron Loe is on it. Although it hurt to watch him baffle our batters, I still do like the guy, I can't help it. He's huge and doofy and when he drops down to that sidearm pitch and oooooo shiny. Plus the superhigh socks. Plus the fact that he HAS A 7 FOOT LONG BOA CONSTRICTOR NAMED ANGEL, whom he's had since he was 19. And I quote:
MLBPLAYERS.com: Why did you name the snake Angel?
Loe: The name Angel came because people generally associate snakes with the devil, but she is very sweet and she has never hurt anybody. I bring her into the clubhouse every now and then for my teammates and their kids to look at and play with.
MLBPLAYERS.com: Have any of your teammates been less than enthusiastic upon meeting Angel?
Loe: I think I got the biggest reaction from Alfonso Soriano. He didn't like her. He would stand around and look at her as if he was interested, but he did not want her anywhere near his personal space.
More of Loe on Angel:
Angel is pitcher Kameron Loe's 7-foot Columbian red-tailed boa constrictor. He has had her for about six years and she's a big hit among the Rangers, almost becoming their unofficial mascot.
"I'd like to watch her eat a Rally Monkey," Loe said.
Loe wraps up Angel in a bag and keeps her in his locker when he brings her to the ballpark. Otherwise she stays at his apartment.
"I let her run around the backyard," Loe said. "But I can't take her out for a walk on a leash."
For those of you who are interested, the Columbian red-tailed boa constrictor, Boa constrictor, is your standard boa, what most people are referring to coloquially when they say they have a boa constrictor. 7 feet is not too big for them, as they can be around 8 to 10 feet and the females are usually larger. They can live on average from 20 to 30 years if well cared for and are 'docile', although you wouldn't want them around your pet chihuahua.
In the wild their diet can consist of iguanas, birds, and monkeys, so Loe's comment about Angel eating a Rally Monkey is 100% of SCIENCE FACT. A Capuchin (the species of monkey that has shamefully produced the Rally Monkey) would probably be just about the right size for a snakey snack. In captivity I'm pretty sure they mostly are fed rats, since I highly doubt Loe is actually going out and getting iguanas and monkeys for her.
-Randy Johnson's slow collapse is rapidly becoming one of my favorite things to watch this season.
-If you haven't heard the Rick Sutcliffe drunken shenanigans yet, please go do so at once. The anecdotal tale of Bill Murray spying Mark Bellhorn across the clubhouse, shouting, "For-MER Cub-BIE" in a drunken voice and tackling him to the ground had me in hysterics.
-Joey Harrington is a Dolphin. My mind, it is blown. Expect the return of The Timid Joey Harrington I Keep in my Closet soon enough. I've already photoshopped his head onto a photo of someone swimming with dolphins.
Labels: baseball, Kameron Loe, MLB, rain, random