Thursday, November 30, 2006
Every day I check the latest baseball news. Every day it's the same question. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? ARE WE THERE YET MUMMY I WANTS MY MATSUZAKA NOOOOOWWWW.
And every bloody day, the answer is the same. NO. WE'LL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE. BE QUIET OR NO MATSUZAKA FOR YOU.
When I was a little kid and my family would take long road trips (before the days of iPods, GASP), I would have to amuse myself to keep from being driven insane. I can't read in the car without getting sick, so I would draw (if the road was smooth enough), or play those games where you look for things out the window and try to find more of them before your stinky little brother does (look, a cow! look, a dead raccoon! look, a highway sign with an exploded truck on it!) or where you tally up the colors of cars you pass. Eventually we would get wherever it was that we were going, and I would have a newly intimate knowledge of the denizens of the highway.
That's what's going on with this Matsuzaka business right now. We're stuck on this highway, and Mummy LuchWerNry and Poppy Boras are not going to take any shortcuts to suit us kids.* So we've got to stare out the window and pretend we give a flying squirrel carcass about all the stuff on the side of the road. Look, a new Dodger uniform! Look, another Manny trade request! Look, more Japanese postings! Look, a surly San Franciscan man with a giant head!
I'm glad we won (paid for) the rights to negotiate with the kid. The odds are good for him being a pretty effective pitcher, and this past season taught us once and for all that you can NEVER have too much pitching. Plus it made the Yankees look bad. But can you imagine how BAD we would look if we were willing to shell out all that posting money, and failed to get a deal done? Can you imagine the gleeful cackling in the Bronx? Can you imagine how many death threats Scott Boras would get from the New England area?
I just want to get out of the car already.
In other news, the Detroit Lions are bad, and steadily getting worse. But I watched them play on Thanksgiving! We got Rally Tails! Joey Harrington returned! Photos! Other than that, I don't want to talk about them any more than I want to talk about all the Manny shit, and I want to talk about all the Manny shit not at all.
edit: Joy of Sox is up for a 2006 Canadian Blog Award. Because the idea of a Red Sox blog winning a 'best of sports blogs' award in Canada tickles my deranged fancy, I suggest you all go vote for him (section 13). And, you know, there's the small matter of JoS being an extremely deserving blog for any award. Voting ends tomorrow. Go and see to it that justice is done!
(thanks to Jere for the heads-up)
*Honestly, I think I just severely freaked myself out by taking a moment to consider a conglomerate being made up of Lucchino, Werner, and Henry, what it would be if it was female, and then what it would be if it married Scott Boras and had a bunch of Red Sox fans as children. These are places I never wanted my brain to go.
Labels: baseball, Daisuke Matsuzaka, MLB, negotiation, offseason, Red Sox