Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Best moment of the game? The camera cuts into the partially empty stands. There's a youngish fan running up and down the stairs, through the rows, high-fiving laughing and cheering Lions fans as he goes. He's holding aloft a small square of brown, clearly cut from a paper bag. Hand-printed letters in marker spell out "FIRE MILLEN!" Everyone's laughing, even the announcers.
The kid is jogging up some more stairs when a burly Ford Field security guard wraps him up like Shaun Rogers, tackling him to the stairs.
The kid was just on the late news. "I think if it was a "I Love Ford Explorers" sign I'd been holding, I woulda been OK."
So yeah, that was the highlight.
Also fun was a third down play, with a little over goal to go (figure like 12 yards). Garcia rolls back, scrambles frantically for a while, and absurdly overthrows Roy Williams in the endzone. The announcers' take on this play:
*quietly* "How 'bout just a fade route?"
Oh, and when we were driving down the field in the waning minutes? I found myself literally thinking, "Wait, do we even have a two-minute drill?"
Which is really the whole season right there, you know?
Anyways I was up until 5 am last night writing papers (evolutionary biology yay! analyzing the reliability of mainstream media in french yay!) so coherence will end somewhere right around here.
I love Reggie Bush as much as the next alive person who watches football. Really. He's awesome. He's the shining golden baby unicorn of football, too pure for us filthy mere mortals to sully with our jaded eyes. And stuff. And see this is a blog, I can say things like that.
Some crazy shit, however, was uttered by the announcers during the USC/UCLA game (aka the Game With Those Teams from California That I Don't Really Give a Shit About Except for Hating USC Because of That Rose Bowl and Also Because Barry Zito Pretends He Went to College There Even Though He Was Definitely Only There for Like Two Years or Something). All of the following were phrases used in the context of describing Reggie Bush.
"...like a wisp of shadow in the flower garden." Used to describe Reggie running through a patch of defenders.
"It's almost, Keith, like he's playing a game of Quidditch, that's how he runs."
Announcer 1, upon seeing some stat or other about Reggie's yardage: "Not sure what you say when you see a stat like that."
Announcer 2: "If you're one of the coaches in his future, you swallow hard."
What does this mean?? Reggie Bush is a delicate shadow of a flower who handles the Quaffle and makes old men swallow hard? I just do not understand California college football.
Because it shouldn't be suppressed: Steelers fan writes bad poetry.
If I was writing a poem about the Pittsburgh Steelers it would be a haiku and it would be this:
not a food item even
in yellow towel.
If I was writing a poem about the Detroit Lions it would be a haiku and it would be this:
Why the short passes?
What did we do? Rory must
sob inside big head.
Daunte Culpepper at the Lions game on Sunday: suit, tie with light and dark purple squares, very sharp.
Braylon Edwards, who'd been looking so promising for the Browns, exploded his knee (ACL), probably knocking him out for the rest of the season. Aww. What can Brown do for you? Stink up your life, apparently, be you player or fan.
When it is 4:30 am and you've got some NFL Films production on ESPN about guys switching jersey numbers and you start giggling hysterically, that's when you know you've been up for way, way too long.
Everyone is better than me Part Eleventy Thousand:
Billfer interviews Dan Dickerson, play-by-play announcer for the Tigers. Part I and Part II. I hate to get sappy about this, but in Part I he includes a quote which is possibly the single truest thing I've ever heard anyone say about baseball. He was talking about (of course) Ernie Harwell, and the best piece of advice that Ernie gave him.
It really goes back to some advice Ernie gave me early in my career, when in 2001 the Tigers started 9-23, and that was supposed to be a pretty good team with the Juan Gonzalez trade and the deals they made. I said “How do you do this?” This was my team, they are 9-23 and I was down. He said “Remember, every game stands on its own.” That advice was very simple but it really stuck. You might see something you’ve never seen before, you might see a great individual performance, you might see a great game between two bad teams. And it’s true, it sounds so simple and I think all fans realize that, and that’s why you have fans at games.
That's why you have Tigers fans, and that's why you have so many Red Sox fans, even though the team only just recently started with this winning business and yeah, you know what, that's exactly it. That is EXACTLY it. Anyways, go read the rest of Bill's interview, it kicks all of the ass, as is his wont.
Oh, and Talking Chop interviewed John Schuerholz who, if you live under a rock, is the GM of the Atlanta Braves. He sounds kind of depressed about not resigning The Farns. This is only Part I, apparently Part II is to come later. Go see.
Sometimes I wonder why I bother with this blog thing, but then I remember. I mean, the internet needs someone to Photoshop an 'L' onto the front of Jeff Garcia's jersey.
Did I mention my final project for video class? It's about the Tigers. My mother just mailed me the entire 1984 World Series on tape so I can rip some of it and maybe use it in my stuff (my professor's all about appropriation). Before MNF tonight I wrote up a scorecard, put in the tape of Game 5, and watched it. And scored it. It was probably the coolest thing I've done all semester, which should tell you something about what a wicked cool college student I am.
In related news, Lou Whitaker was really quite cute, Lance Parrish probably would've been if it wasn't for the unfortunate mustache, it's kind of scary seeing Tram young when you know what he looks like old, Goose Gossage sure did stink up that game didn't he?, in fact all the Padre pitching was pretty much atrocious, not to mention those uniforms, and GIBBY! OMFG GIBBY!
Also, computer ads from the 80's are hilarious.
And yes, I did watch that Eagles/Seahawks game tonight, although only God and the All-Seeing Mama McNabb know why.
Here is the bit where I answer your questions, in the form of responses to keywords that people have been using to find my site lately.
is veritek leaving the red sox? No. He has a big fat contract. And learn to spell his name.
john keating fsn detroit. There you are.
oakland raiders fans. Are fucking insane. I love looking through tags on Flickr. This is what I find when I look for 'raiders'. Scary Raiders fan. A dog with a balloon who is a Raiders fan. Gorilla Rilla, presumed Raiders fan. And, of course, the quintessential Raider Nation photo.
pet bandannas boston red sox. It seems like a good idea. I don't know how reliable this site is, but you can dress your small dog (or probably cat) in a Red Sox tshirt, or perhaps something pink, if you want all the other dogs in doggie day care to rag on your dog for not being a real fan. (PS Don't buy them the pink tshirt. I think it's probably animal cruelty under some statute or other.)
kyle farnsworth shirtless. Oh honey, I wish. Does this help?
pant balling games. I almost don't want this to be a typo, because the idea of games based upon the rapid and skillful balling-up of pants is too glorious. Joe Paterno would absolutely clean up at this.
john grabow. I know! Isn't he awesome??
hats for clowns song. An internet classic! May it never grow old and/or die. Still one of my favorites.
nook logan groupies. God I hope so. That's all I have to say about that.