Wednesday, November 16, 2005
That's right, ladies and mustelids! This Saturday, for the the MICHIGAN/OHIO STATE BIGGEST RIVALRY EVAR OMFG ETC. game, it's Blue Out time! Very simple, really. If you're a Michigan fan who's going to be at the game (or an Ohio State fan who wants to fly under the radar, I guess), wear blue! We tried a Maize Out for the Penn State game, and it went off OK... not everyone got the message, of course, and some people just don't own anything maize, although lord knows why you wouldn't. Freaks.
But this should be easy. Everyone has something blue in their closet, and I suppose people are more likely to have blue jackets than maize jackets, and since it's supposed to possibly snow on Saturday... yeah. Of course you can wear maize also, but it would be pretty awesome if the majority of people in the Big House could wear blue. This is not just students, mind, we want every damn person in there blued out.
So I was watching the game on Monday night, and I was wondering something I'm quite sure we've all wondered at some point or another since this season started. What, exactly, did we do to deserve the halftime... show? Event? Broadcast? I'm not even sure what you would properly call it. The Tim McGraw monstrosity that occurs between the two halves of Monday Night Football games.
I was racking my brain, trying to think what I could have possibly done to merit this cruel, cruel abomination. I haven't killed anything lately... hell, just the other day I took a bug off the wall and brought him outside the print studio so that he could fly free, and so that my classmates would stop freaking the fuck out for no good reason. I haven't done anyone massive physical injury lately, I haven't skipped any classes, I've gotten all my projects/papers in on time and the like.
I mean, are we not sufficiently punished by being forced to sit there and listen to John Madden say things like, "I remember seeing Mike McMahon in Lions camp and thinking this kid had the potential to be a starting quarterback somewhere in the league," while his cheeks slowly implode and take the rest of his face with them? Is that not quite enough horror to be going on?
But no. We must also be subject to a truly annoying country tune, rumbling on about liking and loving the ponderous crash of tightly-pantsed man against tightly-pantsed man.
Don't know what it is 'bout the pushin' and the shovin'
But I like it
I love it
I want some more of it.
Is it just me, or does this sound like the promising start for a gay anthem to anyone else?
Tim McGraw also looks disturbingly like a slightly more metro version of Tim Wakefield. A Tim Wakefield who took the advice of the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy dudes a little more seriously, if you will.
Last night I was watching that Best Damn Sports Show that is Nearly Unwatchable But I Put it On Because the College Football Game I Had Been Watching Was Delayed on Account of Tornado Warnings and the Only Other Alternatives Were Poker and College Basketball Both of Which I Detest... thing. And they had Braylon Edwards on. Oh, Braylon.
Braylon on the playing time he gets as a Brown: "I just envisioned it bein' somethin' different... the biggest shock to me is that I kinda... got redshirted, like I'm in college still. I mean, when plays need to be made and you draft a guy to make plays... well, 1 plus 1 equals 2, not 1 plus 1 equals 5." I'm glad he learned these basic mathematical skills. It speaks well of Michigan's student-athlete programs. I'm not kidding, either. That's a calculation which would puzzle and confuse a Miami guy.
Braylon on being a Michigan guy in Ohio: "It's actually interestin' man, I constantly get bothered, hassled... it's gettin' to the point where I'm thinkin'... where I'm gonna get brass knuckles and a night stick." [said jokingly]
"I had a Michigan flag outside my house, like two weeks ago, and my house got egged... got TPed and egged the night I put it up, so the Michigan flag came down." [said seriously]