Formerly Felines for Anarchistic Green Democracies

A Bostonian at the University of Michigan.

There will also be discussion of the New England Patriots, Miami Dolphins, and Michigan Wolverines. Probably in that order.

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Thursday, September 22, 2005  

Sorry 'bout that kids, but I'm not in a terribly rational frame of mind right now.

Why does this team hate Tim Wakefield so much these days? Did he and Dougie have a drinking match that ended with them both puking all over the clubhouse floor, thereby disgusting and infuriating the rest of the team?. Because I honestly don't know. I do know that it is not big or clever for the Sox to keep on wasting perfectly good Wake outings like this.

The standings, well, yes, there you are, you all know where we're at. I don't want to talk about it. So, let us speak of other matters.

Ryan Church, Washington National: confused about Jews. Seriously.

... Church [was quoted] as saying that he had turned to [team chaplain] Moeller for advice about his former girlfriend, who was Jewish. "I said, like, Jewish people, they don't believe in Jesus. Does that mean they're doomed? Jon nodded, like, that's what it meant. My ex-girlfriend! I was like, man, if they only knew. Other religions don't know any better. It's up to us to spread the word," Church said.

I don't know what's more worrying: the fact that he seems to have happily discovered evangelicalism; the fact that a Major League baseball chaplain is telling his players that Jews are doomed to, presumably, an eternity of hellfire and George Steinbrenner; the fact that Ryan Church so clearly has no knowledge whatsoever about any religion other than his own; the fact that this is probably true of many ardent Christians in this country; or the fact that he uses the word 'like' more than I do, and I'm a college-aged female.

But don't worry, fellow Jews, it's not our fault we're sentenced to damnation. If only we knew!

I don't really find the whole thing offensive. It's much more worrying than offensive, on several levels, not least of which is the level where it becomes clear that Judaism in baseball and, by extension, the country, is a highly marginalized and ignored religion.


At least it's not his throwing arm? Sorry, O's fans. I don't mean to throw anymore fat on your already towering bonfire of a season, but I didn't know that what BRob had injured was his pronator tendon and his UCL.

That isn't just a badly tweaked elbow. That's serious, serious bad news. Wonked UCLs lead to Tommy John surgery in pitchers, and a bad pronator, if left untreated or if treated insufficiently, can up the strain on the UCL and lead to a later UCL blowout. Troy Percival sustained an injury this season to his pronator bits, and it's probably ended his career.

I'm not saying BRob's done for life, of course... he's much younger than Percy, and it IS his nonthrowing arm, and it's not as though he's a pitcher, putting stress upon repeated stress on it. But the seriousness of the injury really can't be downplayed. Those are extraordinarily vital parts he's gone and had shredded.

Kameron Loe is one tough sonuvabitch. That little blurb doesn't at all explain what happened. Vlad hit a linedrive right back at him, and he took it off the head near his temple, all Matt-Clement-style.

So Loe goes down... onto one knee. And turns his head to track the ball, which had ricocheted off his skull and remained in the air, over into Michael Young's glove for the out. Then he stood up. Barajas and various trainers ran out the mound, where Loe allowed them to massage his head and ask him some questions to see if his brains were liquefied or not. He never lost consciousness. He never dropped to the ground. He was able to talk to the crowd on the mound, and it actually looked like he was about to go right back out there and start pitching again for a minute, before he was led docilely off the field.

I mean, man, I know he's a big dude and all (6'8, 225), but he took a Vladimir Guerrero linedrive to the head, and he never even ended up in the dirt. Mad crazy.

Also, things you learn when you go looking for a blurb on the site of another team: the Rangers have a pitcher trying to learn the knuckleball. Always of interest to Sox fans, home of the latest and greatest knuckleballer of our era. TOO BAD HIS TEAM WON'T GIVE HIM ANY SUPPORT. But, yeah, neat, it'll be interesting to see how that works out for the Rangers.

That dull thwacking sound you here is the final nail being driven into the coffin of the 2005 Detroit Tigers season. I'm not sure it's possible to wave a white flag any more clearly than this. Oh, and Pudge forgets how many kids he has. Awesome.

That's all I've got, folks. The team could really use this offday, and they had better do so. They had better spend the entire fucking day thinking about what they've done and how they can fix it. Any stories of them going out and boogyin' down with girls my age will be met with extraordinary rage. I don't care if that's how you unwind, boys. Focus, or suffer my vast blogger's wrath.

3:23 AM

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