Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Well, OK. Let's see how right I was.
Hacking: Lots and lots and lots of it. The Tigers, as a team, had 16 hits, struck out 6 times, left 19 men on base, and had only one walk. That's some mighty big hackin', boys and girls. That is a team that would swing at a bowling ball if you rolled it towards them.
'Do rags: Did you see when Dmitri slid into third base and his helmet came tumbling off, revealing his majestic 'do rag? Yeah cause I saw it, and it was pretty awesome. And when he got taken out of the game for a pinch runner, and he came off the field with his batting helmet in hand, waving it to the crowd? Yes, more 'do rag.
Triples: Two of them, shockingly both of them by the Tigers. I thought if I was going to be right here it would have to be Red Sox doing the hitting but damn, Big Red and DaMeat certainly stepped up (and in Dmitri's case, slid in).
Shots of Alan Trammell looking upset in the dugout: Well, maybe not shots per se, but there was a ton of discussion about benching Infante after he Manny'd it down the line on a maybe-yes-maye-no-but-Billy's-got-it-so-you're-dead-meat-anyways foul/fair ball. Tram is a vet, Tram appreciated hustle in his players, Tram won't stand for that, etc.
Bad umpiring: I don't know that it was bad, per se, just iffy. That fair/foul call. Quite a few pitches that Manny thought were walks but were called strikes. At least all the homeruns were decisive, and no one got hit by a pitch but forced to continue the at-bat. God my standards are low for umpiring by now.
The roaring tiger over the PA system: Uh, yeah. That. RAWR! I was wrong here. You hears it quite a bit
Brandon Inge's ass: As expected there were not, sadly, too many shots of Brandon Inge's ass. However, NESN did oblige us with some lovely long closeup shots of his face during his early at-bats. Please note that, in a highly unusual turn of events, Inge was not the only Tiger with his socks up today. Rookie Curtis Granderson also had his socks up, and while he has all manner of mad crazy potential, you can't really compare his posterior to that of Brandon Inge. It is, well, incomparable.
Pudge being sulky: I'm sorry, who did we have catching again? 44th round. OK, that aounds, uh, good. He's nearly batting .200 these days, you know.
What a crazy game. I think we can clearly and squarely blame Curt Schilling... I mean, the walkoff winning run? John McDonald? It's not even like he gave up that last hit to Maggs, who is a very good hitter when all in one unherniated piece, or Dmitri, who hasn't been terrific this year but is always a vague threat. But, John McDonald? Something's wrong with Schill if he lets that happen. KEITH FOULKE IS NOT DEAD, CURT, SO PLEASE STOP CHANNELING HIM.
And the Tigers 'pen did the exact opposite of the Red Sox 'pen. Douglass made his shaky exit and Roman Colon, whom I've been uncharitably calling 'NotKyleFarnsworth', went 4 solid. Grooming the next Kitty starter? Maybe. In any event, the kid done good against some of the scariest bats in baseball, and the one run he gave up was a blast from David Ortiz. That was just Papi doing what Papi does, though, there's no shame in getting beaten like that.
Don and Remy were in fine form tonight, first giggling madly over the Detroit freeway situation (bad, very; apparently Remy had to resort to driving up a closed ramp to reach the freeway they wanted, leading to this horrified and amused Don Orsillo quote: "We've driven up on sidewalks and the wrong way down one-way streets, but that was the first time we've seen a great big sign saying 'DO NOT ENTER' and we entered.") and then completely losing their minds over the streakers.
Obviously NESN doesn't show the guys on TV, so we had audio of Don and Remy gasping helplessly for breath in the booth and video of the bullpen guys crowded along the fence to watch the action. It was hilarious. Remy was laughing about it like 3 innings later, which is one of those things that you either absolutely love or absolutely hate about NESN broadcasts.
Of course the best part was that when the cops finally came out and subdued the guy, they handcuffed him and led him off the field through the stands, onto the concourse. Without even wrapping a towel around him. They handcuffed and marched him off, still completely naked. Don and Remy were in fits over this too.
Oh, Detroit police department.