Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tinfoil conspiracy hat time!
Chicago White Sox left-hander Mark Buehrle called the Texas Rangers cheaters on Tuesday, claiming that the team signals pitches to batters through a high-tech light system in center field.
"I've heard rumors, so it's not just me saying this,'' Buehrle said. "I've heard it from tons of people. It's not just me saying this. ... Something's going on because they hit so good at home. The way they hit here, you'd have to raise an eyebrow to figure something's going on. Look at the stats. I'm not just making this up.'' Buehrle accuses Rangers of cheating.
He's claiming that there's some sort of 'high-tech light system' in center field that the Rangers are using to signal what pitch is coming to their batters. Um. OK then? Lights? In centerfield? Are those the little lights the aliens put there, or was it just Buck Showalter? Mark Teixeira makes a good point in response:
"It's so crazy and it's funny... We're a good hitting team and every team plays better at home. I'm curious to how it would work logistically. He is so quick in between pitches it would be impossible to do. I'm not offended. It's an outrageous claim."
The whole thing just strikes me as a bit hilarious, and one of the funny things is that this is more something I could see crazy Ozzie Guillen coming out with, or a guy like Jose Lima, or David Wells, not necessarily Mark Buehrle. But I guess everyone is out to get him, so he can say these things. I do believe he was accusing one of the Cubs of using an illegal pitch earlier this year as well, so maybe I shouldn't have been so surprised.
Mark Buehrle: Conspiracy theorist. The Truth is Out there!
Also, this? Is downright disturbing. I can't remember the last time his cheeks were so clean. 0-for-4 on the night, by the by.
edit: My god, people. Here it is Wednesday, and on Saturday I'll be at a real, live football game, and the season will be started and I will be. In! The Big House. I am so deep in baseball right now that Kevin Millar's hair is entertainment and King Felix is big news and a rainout is tragedy, but man, soon I'll be watching football and worrying about how Northern Illinois has some kind of wicked good running game and we haven't had any kind of run-blocking defense in years.
Weird. But kind of awesome.