Monday, August 15, 2005
Oh, bloody heck, is it time for this again?
And to think, I'd been so relatively sane lately, too.
Well, for those of you who do not follow the Tigers, let me give you some tips about what you can look for in this series:
-Hacking. Lots of it. The Tigers, as a team, are apparently morally opposed to taking walks. I think it offends their sense of macho tough Detroitness or something.
-'Do rags. Watch Dmitri Young.
-Triples. Well, you may not see any, the way the Tigs have been hitting lately, but I'm just warning you now, this game is in Comerica Park. It has a large outfield. This is conducive to the hitting of triples. Because you just know that if and when triples are hit, Don and Remy are going to start talking about it endlessly. So now you're forewarned and prepared for it.
-Shots of Alan Trammell looking upset in the dugout. I'm not sure if NESN will oblige with these, but if they're on the ball they'll be sure to catch him in the throes of his agony. It's something to see, when he really loses it.
-Bad umpiring. I swear to Johnny Damon, bad umpiring has been like some kind of horrible deranged rally monkey on the backs of the Tigers this year. It just follows them around and it won't go away and it keeps claiming it's from LA even though so far as we know it was from Anaheim and ugh. The worst, of course, was Carlos Guillen getting hit in the foot but not awarded a base, and then taking a ball to the head the very next pitch, but there has just been a lot of shoddy umpiring around the Tigs. I'm not using this as an excuse for their recent suckitude, by the by; good teams overcome bad umpiring (see: homeruns, Gabe Kapler). I'm just saying it's One More Thing when the Tigers really just didn't need anything else piled on.
-The roaring tiger over the PA system! Listen for it every time the Tigers score! RRRAAWWR! Ha ha, no, you won't be hearing it much.
-Brandon Inge's ass. There probably won't be that many shots of it on NESN, especially given how he's been mired in a suffocating and bewildering hitting slump, but keep an eye out for it and you will be richly rewarded. It is a very nice ass. It should be easy to tell which one is Brandon Inge, for Tiger-watching-novices: he's number 15, and he's also the only Tiger who regularly wears his socks up.
-Pudge being sulky. If you haven't been following the Tigers... well, don't ask. Suffice it to say that Pudge and THE REST OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE are not on the best of terms right now.
If someone can get Renteria to figure out what, exactly, it was that Pudge was doing in Colombia over those 4 days of his suspension, Tiger Nation (such as it is) would really like to know.