Formerly Felines for Anarchistic Green Democracies

A Bostonian at the University of Michigan.

There will also be discussion of the New England Patriots, Miami Dolphins, and Michigan Wolverines. Probably in that order.

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How bad is Keith Foulke really?
Harry Potter and the Boston Red Sox
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8 Days of Jewish Baseball
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Friday, July 29, 2005  
I was listening to WEEI on the hour-long drive home from The Internship today for some ungodly reason. Probably because I had been up there from ass'o'clock in the morning until like 4 in the afternoon and was feeling out of the baseball loop. In any event. They were, as one might imagine, talking about Manny Ramirez.

Being the insane Boston media, they were, to a man, calling for the immediate termination of Manny's contract, lockerroom space, jersey production, and possibly life. Because you know, he's never dogged it down the basepaths before. He's never complained and said he wanted out before. That's all totally new to us. It's not like we've heard these things, oh, several hundred times in past years from Manny. Don't be silly. Why else would the radio guys be reacting so strongly?

My absolute, absolute favorite was when they had a caller try to defend Manny and his spot on the team. He said something to the effect of, "Well, so he refused to play when Trot was hurt, that's bad and reprehensible* and all that, but the guy still has 92 RBI on the year for us."

To which the radio hosts replied, "Who cares?"

They then went into a long rant about honestly, who cared about the numbers if Manny was going to be a me-me-me prima donna in the clubhouse, and 92 RBI didn't mean shit in that case, and 92 RBI and 28 homeruns were not as important as a guy like Bill Mueller (42 RBI, 4 HR) who was a tough guy who was dedicated to the Game of Baseball.

I'm not making it up. One of the radio guys actually said, multiple times, "Wouldn't it just make you sick if we ended up trading away a clubhouse guy like Bill Mueller, and we had to keep that mutt Manny Ramirez?"

I'd love to be able to say that I clucked my tongue in mild dismay and kept driving, but my fellow bloggers who have seen me try to watch both a Red Sox game and Tigers game at once can probably assure you that they expect no such calm behavior from me.

I'm sorry to say I started screaming at the radio. And thumping the steering wheel, and yelling things like, "Jesus fucking cats are you SERIOUS?! 92 RBI DON'T MATTER?? You would honestly rather have a guy who was A NICE GUY IN THE CLUBHOUSE than someone who would hit you 92 FUCKING RBI SHORTLY AFTER THE ALL STAR BREAK?"

Now, I know that the sabermetric way of viewing baseball is catching on, but is still frowned upon in many circles by 'the old baseball' types. But to see numbers, numbers that DIRECTLY TRANSLATE INTO RUNS SCORED FOR THE TEAM, ignored in favor of pugnacity and team spirit... egads. I'm not a stathead by any stretch of the imagination, but this was appalling.

And people passing me going in the opposite direction, who were treated to brief glimpses of my spazzing out, probably thought I was clinically insane.

Oh, and while I'm on a random rant, may as well throw this one in there.

I do not see how A-Rod could say that he's going to play for the Dominican team in the World Baseball Championship or whatever they're going to call it.

That's like someone announcing that they're going to have a tournament, all over the United States, for roller hockey. Your home state is your team. I'm convinced that Florida is going to win, because they've got tons of great roller hockey players from there and they take their roller hockey seriously in that state.

So I announce that I am, in fact, Floridian, and will be playing for the Floridian team.

Bear in mind, I wasn't born in Florida... I was born in Massachusetts. I didn't grow up in Florida, I grew up in Massachusetts. Hell, I didn't even go to school in Florida... I went to school in Michigan.

But, see, my mom is from Florida, and she has family living there. So I visited Florida some, as a kid, because that's where my mom's family is.

So, based on that, I declare myself Floridian. I will play for the Floridian team, and we will kick roller hockey ass.

Now you tell me how A-Rod, who was born in New York and grew up in Miami, can say that he is qualified to play on the Dominican team just because his parents (or one of his parents, I'm not sure) is from there. Maybe he even still has family down there. Doesn't make him Dominican. Isn't that just like me saying I'm Floridian because my mom is from there and I have family there? I have cultural Floridian roots!

Apparently today was 'drive BCRS batty very easily with very minor things' day.

*This is how you can tell it's not a direct transcript and I'm just putting down what I can remember. If a WEEI caller ever used the word 'reprehensible' in a call, I would probably drive my car off the road in shock.

Oh yeah, and.

Clement looked OK.
Had a presser so it seems.
He's got dork glasses.

12:39 AM

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