Thursday, June 02, 2005
I'm too tired to write an actual post, so instead you will get The Bulletpoints of Laziness for the high and low points of today.
LOW POINTS
-Wake. Sometimes he's on, sometimes he's not. That's what you get when you have a knuckleball pitcher. Tonight we got Wake sans knuckler, and when you take away his knuckleball he's basically a guy who throws a 75 mph fastball, and that's not going to be pretty to watch.
-Geronimo Gil's 3-run homer. It was gross, not entirely unlike Gil himself. There wasn't even a big 'aaaw' in the park, it was just more like everyone sinking silently back in their seats and shaking their heads. Sad.
-The cotton candy vendor who kept saying "Nutritious and delicious!" That's the Crunch'n'Munch guy's slogan, you hack. Be creative and make up your own damn hawking cry.
-Kelly Shoppach making an out with 2 outs in the inning, bases loaded. Poor guy, it wasn't really his fault... I mean, yes, he made the out, but the team had sucked so badly that this one bases loaded situation took on such massive importance. You can't hang it on the rookie, not by any means, but it wasn't fun to see.
-Trying to eat a Fenway Frank, with ketchup, without napkins. A messy operation, not entirely unlike innings in which Tim Wakefield pitched tonight. Sigh.
-The Anonymous Jason Smith. He was designated for assignment today, which is a bit unfortunate, as the poor guy got beaned by a vengeful Paul Quantrill just a few days ago for the Tigers, and now he's got to pack up his things and his massively pregnant wife and hope he catches on somewhere else. More importantly, this whole move smacks of panic-managing... the Tigs called up a kid from AA to replace TAJS, just days after calling Chris Shelton up from AAA. You can almost see the panic rising as Guillen's knee remains tender, as Rondell's shoulder still twinges, as Pudge gets his hand broken, as Magglio... wait, where is Magglio? Who knows.
If anything happens to Brandon Inge I imagine Dave Dombrowski will hurl himself from the tiger statues atop the scoreboard. His last move will be to call Josh Rainwater up from single-A, to 'jump-start the big league team'.
-Kevin Millar. The error... the lack of offensive production... would it hurt to see a bit more of Olerud? Maybe. But maybe not. We need to get the guy some at-bats, and maybe giving KFK some time off to sit and think about the error of his ways would help.
-Alan Embree. Just... Alan Embree.
HIGH POINTS
-OK, I have to admit, this was pretty fucking hilarious.
-Seeing two starters for the price of one. Although it certainly was startling to see Arroyo come out of the 'pen. Shades of things to come?
-'Watching' the Yankees get beaten down by the Kansas City Royals on the out-of-town scoreboard in left field. Yes, the New York Yankees have lost the series to the KC Royals. My glee is unending. Really. AL Central, I am so proud of you!
-Johnny Damon. He looked comfortable at the plate and fine in centerfield, and basically appeared to be quite unconcussed.
-Tigers win! A win for Bonderman! Tony G, fresh up from AA, has a great day. Inge continues to not suck. The Farns lowers his ERA to under 3.00.
-The heckling of Melvin Mora. You know it's a game in which we're unlikely to come back when you get an entire section chanting "Melvin... Melvin... Meeellllllll-viiiiiiiiiinnnn...". And then the chant is capped by a very loud, very drunken gentleman shouting out, "Hey Melvin, you have the worst name in baseball!"
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That's Annette of Surviving Grady messageboard fame, your local blogging gremlin, and Kristen of Basegirl. We have all decided to blame my friend Jason for this loss, which is why we are able to grin and bear up under the shame of it all.
Tomorrow is my first time seeing Matt Clement pitch live, and I would very much like to watch him do the happy good things he's been doing. Because that's a pretty short list of high points, and I rather think it could be improved upon.
Oh yeah, and remember how Mario Impemba has a blog? Well, so does Tommy Lasorda. He's hilarious, give it a read.
1:47 AM
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