Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Guess who did, as a matter of fact, wake up at 4:30 this morning? Yes, I did this very thing. And do you know what? It was a slow day up at Plum Island, and the bugs were a-hoppin', and I was the youngest one there by at least 20 years, and and and. You know what? It was worth it.
YES I GOT TO SEE THE BLACK AND WHITE WARBLER (Mniotilta varia) UP CLOSE AND YOU DID NOT. Only my favorite species of warbler in the entire phylogentical spectrum of warblers, beat that! I don't need you, sleep! I HAVE WARBLER. Oh yeah, you can click that to see the awesome, awesome warbler somewhat larger.
I stopped at Dunkin Donuts on the way up, because that is what you do when you get up early and are not on a college campus that does not have a Dunkin Donuts anywhere on it *cough*Michigan*cough*. The very early morning crowd at DD is always a hoot in Swampscott, since it's mostly crotchety old folk sitting around wheezing and conversing about town politics or the numbers of lobsters being pulled in recently or those fuckers over in Marblehead and suchlike. Probably the same as any DD anywhere in Massachusetts (insert your own quaint yet powerfully hated rival town for 'Marblehead').
So I stagger into the orange-and-purple land of bliss this morning, the sun only just coming up, exhausted eyes hidden behind my Mike Timlin bug sunglasses. I nod to the collection of 8 or 9 elders holding court in the corner, and give the painfully cheery lass behind the counter my order. I then notice the strange murming sound coming from the aforementioned corner court.
"Halama." "HA-lama." "Ha-LA-ma." "Hala-MA." "HA-lama?" "Halamalama." "What kinda name is that?" "Lamahama?" "Halamamama?" And on and on and on.
Kids, I nearly died, it was so hilarious and New England and old person. 5:15 am on a Wednesday morning in Dunkin Donuts, and the old people in the corner are grousing about the name of last night's starting pitcher for the Red Sox. God bless us all.
Just want to dump a few links and things on you all before the game tonight, since I'm not sure I accurately conveyed how stressful this series is for me last night-- MY HEART SHE IS ACHIN'. And tonight it's Wake, whom I adore, versus Nate 'I have yet to think of a better nickname so I guess we're going with Gator' Robertson, whom I like quite a bit. Whimper whimper, sob sob and all that. Anywho, between the bird banding and that, I may or may not actually be up to posting after the game, so I'm getting this business done now.
You know how I said Sarah (Rallycuff) was going to Comerica? Well, she went. And she had quite the adventure. Hee hee. HA HA HA HA HA oh my god Sarah I am so sorry. Ha ha ha. Oh wow. Let me just say that I've been into Detroit a bunch of times and I've never even interacted with any of the cops ah ha ha ha ha oh god that's hilarious. Go read.
I love you, The Brushback! Ozzie Guillen would totally do this. I have no doubts in my mind. Also, file this one under "It's funny because it's true". Heh. Parody is our friend.
In the "you should have seen these already but just in case you haven't I will beat you over the head with it because it is that awesome" file. I have already read everything in The Dugout a billion times, yet I keep going back and rereading them all again, because damn. Damn, that stuff is hilarious. They need to update more swiftly, as I have the patience of a hyperactive kitten. Behold. Also, Theo could probably do this sort of thing if he really wanted to. This hurt more last year. Making fun of the Yankees will never get old. Fear not Tigers fans, there is something for you as well! I tell you kids, this one kills me every. damn. time. OK, stopping now before I link to all of them. You get the point.
Beth read Johnny Damon's shit book so that we, the literary snob public, would not have to. Then she posted excerpts of the good bits on the internet so that we wouldn't miss anything through our literary snobbery. Clicky to read Johnny Damon on winning the World Series, Scott Kazmir, Curtis Leskanic, crazy clubhouse antics and harassing Youks, Cabby and the Latin contingent, the infamous CHB, team flights, Curt 'it's just a bone bruise, not a stress fracture-- whoops, it's a stress fracture!' Schilling, Keith 'I suck I suck I suck I suck' Foulke, and high school. Thanks, Beth. You just saved me from having to read that entire trainwreck of a 'novel' to get these gems. Highly appreciated.
Billfer is too smart for his own damn good. Interested in seeing how the way a team fares in one-run games affects their overall performance? Billfer will explain it for you, with charts and things that make a modicum of sense to even my sad little brain.
Similarly (in that they both involve, y'know, actual research), Kevin Millar's recent spate of beanings at the plate led to a speculation over at Empyreal on whether or not replacement players (during that whole, y'know, strike business) such as Millar were hit by pitches more often these days. A sort of ongoing retribution and whatnot. This prompted Twitch to take a look at it, and she (she? I think she) determined that the answer was 'yes, barely'. The Singapore Sox Fan also took a look at the data and drew some conclusions. Cool beans.
The best 2005 season preview that you won't understand a word of. I'm guessing young aces for the top panel (note the Cubbie plane crashing and burning, poor bastards), free agency stud acquisitions for the middle one (OMG Roger Clemens EW thanks Korean cartoonist for scarring my eyes), and injury concerns for the last one (I happen to know that the baby thing represents injury, it's like a Korean cartoon convention or something. Also, the Magglio thing is not funny).
There's a second one here which I'm less sure about. The tree of potential or something for the top panel (?), something about taking the scraps out of the junkyard for the middle one (Tito, true to form, is in his red sweatshirt-- I love you, mystery Korean cartoonist), and I'm very unclear on the bottom panel.. digging themselves out of a hole? You kids tell me.
Are you all about MICHIGAN FOOTBALL? Or Wolverine sports in general? If not, you are A BAD HUMAN BEING AND YES ROB I'M LOOKING AT YOU. Ahem. Anyways, if you are, perhaps you should be checking out the mgoblog. Like M Go Blue, geddit? That being what we say in the land of superior education and yes also football. *coughs delicately* He sometimes talks about basketball, which is a damn shame, but it's a pretty entertaining read despite this. Especially if you bleed (or at the very least occasionally hallucinate in) Maize and Blue.
This is kind of mean, but even if you're a Tigers fan you can laugh at it. I know I did. It's just so damn clever. And if you're a Red Sox fan you should be peeing your pants in glee here.
So much for a quick entry, huh? Anyways, one last thing. Remember that play I was talking about a few entries back? Take Me Out? The play about the gay baseball player? The one that won the Tony for best play in 2003? Yeah, it's in Boston until June 11. I want to see. Who wants to see it with me? You know you want to see it with me. C'mon kids, we need to make this happen. Ladies, I have only three words for you:
Naked. Shower. Scene.
Email's over on the side if someone actually wants to get together for this one. I am an art student! I am like morally obligated to be culturally enriched by going to plays and, uh, stuff. Also, play about baseball. Also, naked shower scene.
And as my sleep deprivation becomes glaringly apparent, I shall close. Let's hope for a good game tonight, and may the best club win (and the other best club will lose but only because that is how it has to be not because they are any less best).