Wednesday, April 27, 2005
An educational list of
Things that suck and what they suck:
-Lamprey (fish flesh)
-Vacuum cleaners (dust and detritus)
-Black holes (light)
-Leeches (blood)
-Sink drains (water)
-Ocean undertow (small unwary children)
-Suction cups (air)
-Baleen whales (krill)
-Hummingbirds (nectar)
-A-Rod (Jeter)
-Mosquitos (blood)
-Liposuction (fat)
-Starbucks (my money)
-Straw (soda, not pop, you freak midwesterners)
-KEITH FOULKE (A LOT)
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, KEITH, WHY DON'T YOU FIGURE IT OUT AND LET US KNOW?
edit: So A-Rod had 10 RBI tonight, and the last player to do that was Nomar, with the Sox. Behold.
"Definitely tonight was one of those magical nights," Rodriguez said. "I've hit three home runs before, but nothing feels as special as this, doing it in New York, doing it in the pinstripes... right after I hit that last base hit up the middle, I felt like I was in the clouds-- you just don't want it to end."
VOMIT.
VOMIT, VOMIT, VOMIT, VOMIT.
This literally makes me feel physically ill.
REMIND ME TO NOT WATCH SPORTSCENTER FOR AT LEAST TWO WEEKS, OK?
12:59 AM
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