Tuesday, March 29, 2005
We started off with the jewelers saws, which were kind of scary because you could cut yourself on them.
Then we learned soldering, which was scarier than the jewelers saws because you had to wear goggles and it involved a torch, and fire, and little tanks you could blow up if you weren't careful.
Then we learned gas welding, which was scarier than soldering, because you had to wear tinted goggles, and safety gloves, and a safety jacket, and it involved a bigger torch and a hotter fire and much bigger tanks that you could use to incinerate the entire building if you weren't careful.
We figured that they were working us up in terror, each technique scarier than the last, but gas welding had to be the end of it. Nothing worse than gas welding. Right?
Today we learned MIG (metal inert gas) welding.
For this you have to use a face shield called an Auto-Dark, which has a tiny green-tinted window that becomes perfectly black automatically as soon as you start welding. If you don't wear gloves while you're using the MIG welder, you'll get a bad sunburn on your hands. Do you know why this is?
IT IS BECAUSE THE WELDING ARCH IS AS BRIGHT AS THE FUCKING SUN.
It looks bright white-blue through the face shield. I don't know what color it is without a shield, because if you look at it with your bare eyes YOU WILL BURN OUT YOUR RETINAS LIKE IF YOU STARE DIRECTLY AT THE SUN.
And we're supposed to hunch directly over it to make sure it's welding in a straight line.
I hope to god that we're done learning new techniques. What could possibly be worse than welding with something as bright as the sun? Welding by harnessing the power of an atomic bomb?
In other news. We have him? We don't have him? We have him? Mike Myers might be back in Boston. I'm not sure why we'd want him, exactly... I mean, do we have the roster space right now for a LOOGY? Wouldn't he just languish in the minors for a while? Is that cool with everyone? I don't know how these things work.
THANK FUCK. We all know how I feel about JJ, and how I feel about Bonderman in contrast. Plus, the kid deserves it, the way he pitched last year and the way he's been pitching this spring. Nice to see that Tram actually came to something generally resembling his senses.
That's about all I've got right, what with the stress of finals closing in, but if you're a human being who likes baseball you need, need, NEED to go over and read what's been going on at Athletic's Nation. I am equal parts absolutely delighted and absolutely, horrifically jealous. Basically, Blez (the blogger) gets to hang and chat with the A's media, Billy Beane, AND THE FUCKING PLAYERS.
I'm wondering if this is a function of his blog in particular, or if it's an Oakland thing, or what. Because honestly, much as I love the Sox, free and crazy as they are, I can't imagine them ever giving this kind of access to a blogger. He has several of the players promising to come and write little articles on his blog all throughout the regular season, for crissakes!
So, yeah, jealous times 400, but I can't wait to read it all, and all you kids should go take a look too. If nothing else, it's a big step for sportsblogging everywhere, and it can't hurt to bask in Blez's blogging glory.