Saturday, June 14, 2003
I saw Identity. It was pretty damn bad. As I had thought it was going to be. Would've much rather seen X2 again, or the Italian Job, which I haven't seen yet but sort of want to see.
Anywho. Identity. The first half hour was boredom incarnate. I know it was the first half hour because I kept on checking my watch. After that, it got boring and stupid. Liz and I were talking pretty much the entire time, which was, ultimately, the only thing that kept me from leaving the theater in disgust. I mean, it's funny if you've got someone to discuss it with. But about half way through it I told Liz that I could leave the theater at that very moment and not feel like I was missing anything. I maintain that statement now.
The movie is pretty much exactly what you would expect. The sort of portrayal of mental illness that gets the psychiatrists all in a tizzy about how unfair and stereotypical and inaccurate it is. The opposite-Beautiful-Mind, if you will. The same sort of setup and execution of the plot (hee hee. double entendre) that you see in every single cheap horror movie ever made.
It's like Babo used to say about Shakespearean plays: everyone dies. Only, unlike Shakespeare, you don't care. The characters die and you don't give a damn. They reveal something about half way through the movie (I won't say it here, just on the off chance that you're idiotic and still want to see it) that makes you completely and utterly uncaring when it comes to whether or not any particular character lives or dies.
And I've got news for people. It's always a bad idea to let the bad guy go. Always always always always always. You think someone would've learned that by now.
The end was funny, though. They put in a 'deep and insightful' quote at the very end, but to no avail. Our entire row was laughing hysterically. Not what I assume the intended reaction is. But lo! we all shared our reaction. I mean, honestly.
So, no paws up for Identity. Not a one. Don't go see it. You can live quite happily without ever seeing it. You have no need to see it. If you think that you want to see it, that's only because you don't know about it and you are severly deluded.
If you saw it and liked it, you pretty much know what I think of your brain right now. The word 'stupid' comes to mind quite readily.
Afterwards, we were standing around in the theater. They do a live performance thing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and all the actors/actresses were getting into their costumes and milling about in the lobby. They were extraordinary people. They were, for the most part, immensely obese. Both the girls and the guys. They were also wearing corsets (the guys) and bras (the girls) and fishnets and panties (both) and not much else.
One of the girls was asking around, "Does anyone have a pair of undies I can borrow?" She went up to a portly fellow and asked, "Jimmy, can I borrow your undies?" "I need 'em!" Jimmy replied.
I sort of wanted to stick around and see this show, since these people were so awe-inspiring in their sheer awfullness, but then Noah saw a girl wearing only black panties, a black bra, and tights. He started getting agitated, so we thought it would be prudent to leave before there was a scene.
Also, check out this guy's art website. It gives me headaches.