Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Internet is BACK! I am at home, evil little brother has left the building, and gosh darn it, I am blogging!
I am also aggressively not studying for bio. I started to read the chapters, and I fell asleep right on the book. Kind of unnerving. So I imbibed generous amounts of coffee at my interview in Starbucks (which hopefully is the last interview I have to deal with. I don't enjoy them) and I am going to wait until after I have dined to continue studying. I don't think I'll do any other homework tonight. Just biology. Endless biology. Reams of biology.
Can you imagine having 20 meters of tapeworm in your intestine? Is that not the most vile thing ever? What's a meter, like 3 feet? Imagine a 60 foot-long tapeworm inside of you. Imagine it just soaking up all of your nutrition. Imagine it's egg-filled proglottids. Imagine their release into your intestine, so that you may contaminate a water source somewhere, which cows will eat, and then someone will eat undercooked cow meat, and they will get a giant tapeworm just like yours.
Now imagine being awake when the doctors remove it. Remember, 60 feet. Tapeworm. See it coming out. All 60 feet of it. Just endless amounts of tapeworm, being removed from your very own body.
Now go eat dinner.
Hee hee hee. Yeah, it's utterly vile. I just like doing that on occasion to you poor, innocent readers. Sometimes it's good for you to exercise your atrophied little imaginations.
I think the moral of this story is: cook your meat well.
So, we lost our Mock Trial. Sigh. By one point. The judge, as he was telling us this, said, "One point! It doesn't get any closer than that!" Of course everyone on our side looked at each other in ironic mirth. It can get closer than that indeed, especially when the judge doing the scoring scores illegally and gives half-points! *insert scream of rage here*
Anyways. It wasn't too bad, because the Prep team was really, really good, and they deserved to win. We were mostly quite good, with the possible exception of one *ahem* person who *ahem* didn't know what *ahem* they were doing. No need for names. You either know or you don't, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Every single cross examination, on both sides, was hideously intense. The attorneys were all really intense, and the witnesses were mostly all really good. It was starting to tell on us poor observers. The intensity was starting to make us all a little nutty. At least, it was starting to make me a little nutty. Everyone else was acting nutty, but I suppose I shouldn't presume to know the reasons.
One of the Prep witnesses, a certain Mr. Underhill, was decidedly attractive. This was agreed upon by every girl on the team with whom I spoke of the matter. At one point I wrote a note saying "Underhill's kinda cute". It came back to me with "WICKED HOT!" written under it. Maura was starting to write things like "Underhill ? Legolas" on her notebook, and she was being to exhibit other such signs of adoration. Creepy, yet, in this case, rather merited.
Alors, the season's over, whatever, we made a good run of it. The team was, with a very few exceptions, AWESOME, and I adore them all. I shall miss them sorely next year. *sniffle*
Now there's just the enormous, utterly kick-ass Mock-Trial-Party-to-end-all-Mock-Trial-Parties to look foward to.
Our french class is going to try to go to Elephant Walk on Tuesday. Hopefully we'll really go. That would be very fun. Someone in the class brought up the fact that Vlad is going to look like quite the pimp, what with all of us ladies and whatnot, but I rather think that will only make it funnier. Not funner, mind you. That's not a word, no matter how much certain people from Powderpuff think it is.
OK, Corey just IMed me. He's on the Biology Book Website, studying like the good student that I am not. Anywho, this is one of the actual, honest-to-cats questions which is in the practice quiz on this site:
Which of the following is radially symmetrical?
a) a doughnut
b) an automobile
c) a spoon
d) a dog
and the absolute best:
e) a submarine sandwich (a.k.a. hoagie, sub, grinder, bomber, etc.)
My god. I am in awe. Thank you, 6th edition Biology Book Website. Thank you. You are like holy cats in my eyes. You practice quiz question-writers are the most wonderful people that there are in this world. That is by far the most wonderful thing I have ever seen on a serious educational website. Ever.
Cats like heating vents.
Well, I'm going to go dine and then do massive amounts of biology studying and hopefully that coffee will prove it's worth. Wish me luck!