Saturday, November 23, 2002
We won Powderpuff!!!!!
Ha ha ha! The joy cannot be contained! You have no idea how wonderously happy I am. This is beautiful. Simply glorious.
And GUESS WHAT?? I was a right offensive guard, just as I had been practicing, but GUESS WHAT??
I was a STARTER!!
Yes, a starter! As in, I was on the starting offensive line. As in, I got to play a lot. As in, someone out there actually thinks I'm kind of good at football. This was infinitely gratifying to me. After all, as you all know so well, I have previously eschewed all school sports. Yes, no school sports for me, ever. And yet, lo and behold, I get placed on the starting line for Powderpuff. I feel as though for once in the world something has been just.
Hee hee hee. (*happily maniacal laughter*)
So, WE WON!!! 29 to 21. We scored first in the game, and we scored last in the game. Our first touchdown was on our very first possession, which was in-freaking-credible, and probably played a large role in pumping us up for the rest of the game. There was also an awesome safety near the end of the game that pretty much put it out of Marblehead's filthy little reach.
It was quite a good game, and it was dangerously close at points in the middle, but we pulled it off because we were, quite simply, the better team. It is true. There was a lot of hype about how athletic the Marblehead team was, how great their soccer players and track runners and whatnot were. But screw athleticism. We wanted it more. So we won.
(It also was somewhat helpful that all of their 'excellent' soccer players had had no time to practice football, since they were so busy with their precious soccer)
Speaking of hype, one unidentified Marblehead girl sent a lengthy series of IM messages to one of our players. The transcript of this was printed out and read aloud at one of our dinners. It was, shall we say, hilarious.
The girl claimed to have 'done some research', and she said that 'Marblehead's SAT scores are so much better than Swampscott's'. Later in the same communiqué, she referred to the addressee as a 'Sluty McSlutface', which seemed to me to completely void any claim of intelligence that this girl harbored.
(As Liz pointed out, though, our MCAS scores were far superior. So choke on that, Headers!)
At the game, there were a number of Marblehead boys dressed in kilts and no shirts, being generally disruptive and crude, and unimaginative. You see, we call people from Marblehead 'Headers', because it's the end of their town name, and also because we can chant "Headers...... Headers..... You suck!", and it's funny.
So Marblehead, in a most pathetic attempt to be clever by copying our town, now refers to us as 'Scots'. You know. Swampscott. So these fellows were wearing kilts in order to make fun of Scottish people. Although it is really most unfortunate, because I do not think that anyone on our team is at all offended by this, while a number of Marblehead residents seem to take exception to the nomiker 'Headers', especially the 'You suck' chant. Alas for them.
So anywho, I heard that there was something of a tussle between these kilted characters and some excitable Swampscott fans. I saw, at one point, a phalanx of boys in kilts marching towards a contigent of boys carrying a conspicuous Big Blue flag, but then I had a play to attend to, so I missed out on the rest of it. Apparently one of the Marblehead fellows punched a Swampscott-ian, and the police were summoned to the field. Ha ha ha. I laugh.
So, it was an incredibly GLORIOUS time, because we WON and BEAT DOWN MARBLEHEAD LIKE THE DESERVING, TALL-TALKING SCUM THAT THEY ARE, but also because the whole experience was a good time, practices and all. The coaches were great (for the most part), and my fellow teammates were great (for the most part). So, a good time was had by me, and I am happy, for I am VICTORIOUS.
I leave you with a victory lap.