Sunday, September 13, 2009
Just some thoughts on the Lions' first game of the 2009 season:
--Chris Myers (announcer), on Larry Foote going from winning two Superbowl rings with the Steelers to playing for the Lions: “It’s like going from dating Beyoncé to Oprah.” What a statement with which to start the season. Really sets the tone.
--I hate the new helmet logo in action much less than I thought I would. I don't like the new stripes on the pants, though. The blue as the thickest element in the stripe is just too much. What I do actually hate is the new 'LIONS' font. I wasn’t in love with the old font either (which looked a little like what you’d see on the side of a circus carriage; doubly unfortunate since you WOULD expect to see the word “lions” on the side of such a vehicle), but this toothpaste-packaging-looking typeface is not the answer.
I quite liked the little fleur-de-lis on the hips of the Saints.
--Anyways, if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that uniform changes don’t do a damn thing for the Lions. Black jerseys, anyone?
--Very appropriate that the first Lions points of the season were scored on a Jason Hanson field goal. Anything else would have seemed like false advertising.
--Last year the Lions' secondary had one interception, all year. They have one in the first half here, on an admittedly ill-advised flea flicker pass from Drew Brees. So that's goin' better, kind of, maybe.
--At the beginning of the game they said that the Lions felt one of their biggest areas of improvement had been the defensive linebackers. After the first half I feel that this was a lie; the defense as a whole looks terrible. The only area where they seem to have shown some improvement is special teams, and even that has been inconsistent at best.
Finding out that the team has lied to me this early in the season is not a good sign.
--I wish more people would take a swipe at Jeremy Shockey when he's celebrating a touchdown. I don't even care about that penalty, and the Big Cat hit the ball, not Shockey, anyways. Good job, Lions. The rest of the league should take note of how satisfying that is.
--The Lions taped the National Anthem and had the players look at it, so that they would stand correctly and present a respectful picture before the game. Let me repeat that: the coaches had the Lions study tape of the National Anthem. This is what team resources are going towards. IT ALL MAKES SENSE.
--This was the 18th consecutive loss for the Lions, going all the way back to 2007.Labels: Lions, terrible
10:26 PM
Monday, April 13, 2009
Content? Psh, what's content? Have some cartoons from my sketchbook. It seemed like a good idea to scan them in at the time.
I think all ballplayers should be required to grow strange facial hair, so that they will be easier to render in simplified cartoon form.Labels: baseball, drawn, MLB, Red Sox, Tigers
9:12 PM
Friday, March 20, 2009
You guys. You guys. YOU GUYS. This is a big one. World Baseball Classic semifinal! The winner goes on to the final! The loser has to live with crushing shame for the next four years!! THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND! Titans clashing, baseball cultures warring, etc.
USA/JAPAN! Sunday March 22, 8pm, ESPN! Plan your evening accordingly.
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--David Wright, heroically injured in the toe
--how dare you take a walk with a man in scoring position, how DARE you
--Ryan Garko Fed-Ex'd his own 1B glove to Mark DeRosa because DeRosa did not have one
--Brian Roberts =/= Dave Roberts, Joel Hanrahan =/= Jim Hanrahan, no matter what Jon Miller may tell us
--Munenori Kawasaki turned himself into a left-handed hitter because he was an Ichiro fanboy
--JOHN GRABOW
--Panama Hat Man was shown chatting with Tommy Lasorda and Sadaharu Oh, too amazing to be truth, and yet it is truth
--Rule 34
--Derek Jeter is the ultimate Fail for America
Many thanks to Tony, Snuppy the Hound, ivantopumpyouup, and 2632 for excoriating the everliving hell out of Derek Jeter here with me tonight.Labels: Japan, liveblog, USA, World Baseball Classic
10:48 PM
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
ELIMINATION! Japan vs. Cuba, winner plays tomorrow for seeding, loser goes home. Two teams that care VERY DEEPLY about this tournament, and will be GREATLY HUMILIATED if they lose. Someone is going to feel very, very bad at the end of this one! YOU ARE EXCITED TO WATCH IT!!
The Battle for Orestes Destrade's Heart!
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--when it is foggy, turn off the freakin' greenscreen ads, just turn them off, they will not work properly
--Orestes Destrade knows all the languages
--Ariel Pestano is SO ANGRY
--Yulieski Gonzalez and Ariel Pestano= hatelove
--Hisashi Iwakuma is groundball pitching magic
--Hisashi Iwakuma= Bambi
--don't use illegal drugs, or Dave Winfield will bust you
--Ismel Jimenez has a hypnotic ass
Many thanks to Tony, ivantopumpyouup, and Snuppy the Hound for suffering through the fog and ESPN2's determination to give their sponsors what they paid for, even though it was screwing up the entire broadcast!Labels: Cuba, Japan, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
2:07 PM
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Pool A rematch! Korea/Japan, the return of The Rivalry. This will be an 11pm start, to keep us suffering on the opposite end of the gametime spectrum, and it will be on MLBN. Alas.
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--giant Korean drum, awesome but not available in the WBC store, like all good things
--other Things We Badly Want That the WBC Store Does Not Carry Because They Do Not Actually Want Our Money: four-color WBC pens, WBC logo baseball gloves, those sweet matte team Japan batting helmets, stuffed toy versions of Snuppy the cloned Korean Afghan hound
--Yong-Kyu Lee= Korean Ozzie Guillen
--Yu Darvish will never play in MLB, unless he goes back on his Solemnly Sworn Word
--the 61 mph pitch thrown by Shunsuke Watanabe shall henceforth be known as the suhpee pitch, opposite of the eephus
--inexplicable plastic bag hats
Many thanks to Tony, Snuppy the Hound, ivantopumpyouup, and briefly Jennifer and stillawakward for enjoying this Battle of the Thunderstix in glorious liveblog action.
Japan has been humiliated by Korea again, how will it all end?? Tragically, somehow, I expect.Labels: Japan, Korea, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
3:55 PM
Sunday, March 15, 2009
A return to liveblogging after a brief hiatus! I know you are all terribly, terribly excited, by which I mean that I fully expect to be doing this one on my own. Expect rambling. I believe that our announcing team will consist of Gary Thorne, Steve Phillips, and Orel Hershiser.
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--Orestes!!!!
--Panama Hat Radar Gun Man!!
--Yosvani Peraza= Cuban Cecil Fielder
--Japan headed to America with humiliation in their hearts
--Orestes Destrade is a multilingual genius of words
--the first Japanese player in MLB was not Hideo Nomo, stop lying to us ESPN2
--San Diego sunlight hates baseball
--Steve Phillips has been sneaking into WBC ballplayer hotel rooms and also going with them to SeaWorld
--Ariel Pestano= Cuban Mike Sciosia
--Yulieski Gonzalez looks like Jeff Francoeur a little bit, true fact
--ORESTES!!!!
Many thanks to Snuppy the Hound and ivantopumpyouup for joining me in this exercise in baseball humiliation!Labels: Cuba, Japan, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
1:08 PM
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Just another quick note to let you know that the 6:30 pm Wednesday USA/Venezuela Pool C final will be liveblogged right over here at RotT. OUR EXCITEMENT KNOWS NO BOUNDS.Labels: blognews, World Baseball Classic
6:08 PM
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Just a quick note to say that the liveblog for the Italy/Venezuela WBC game will be over here at RotT if you want to play along. There should be at least a couple Tigers starting, so I figured that was probably the right place for it.
Will Italy get mercy rule'd? Will we see an upset on a par with the Netherlands/DR fiasco? ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC!Labels: blognews, World Baseball Classic
2:44 PM
Monday, March 09, 2009
The last Tokyo Dome game of the 2009 World Baseball Classic. On the one hand, yay: no more Sickeningly-Early-o'clock start times! On the other hand: the last game of this WBC that Orestes Destrade will broadcast.
:(
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--Hisashi Iwakuma= Japanese Mike Mussina
--Jung Keun Bong, the Korean starting pitcher, is an Ichiro fanboy and needed a moment every time Ichiro came to the plate
--rocket of arms
--Orestes Destrade makes the worst Stu Scott/boo-ya joke in the history of the world
--Yu Darvish, sexy in both the pitching sense and the literal, posed naked for a magazine sense
Many thanks to ivantopumpyouup and stillawkward, who joined me for this last and best bit of pre-breakfast baseball and frantic Google Images searches for the naked photos of Yu Darvish.
We will miss you, Tokyo Dome! ORESTES DESTRADE AND SUPER "DRY" FOREVER!!
 Labels: Japan, Korea, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
12:39 AM
Sunday, March 08, 2009
I do not promise that this will work because I will be relying on a sneaky wireless signal, but I am going to try to liveblog a game that is not in Pool A. South Africa vs. Cuba, 2 pm Sunday afternoon. There are two underwear models on the South African team and basically nobody on their roster actually plays baseball; I expect this will be fun. Or terrible! Or terribly good fun.
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--Norge Vera is the new El Duque
--Charley Steiner is a terrible play-by-play man
--South Africa's only functional play is the pick-off move
--Charley Steiner hates baseball and fun
--Team Cuba's trainer is Fidel Castro's son
--Pool B is the worst pool
--dude in the Panama hat with the enormous cigar is awesome and should have announced the game
--seriously fuck Charley Steiner, he is trying to ruin baseball
Thanks to ivantopumpyouup, Snuppy the Hound, and briefly ashmark for suffering, suffering so much.
This was the worst game.Labels: Cuba, liveblog, South Africa, World Baseball Classic
8:40 AM
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