Friday, March 20, 2009
You guys. You guys. YOU GUYS. This is a big one. World Baseball Classic semifinal! The winner goes on to the final! The loser has to live with crushing shame for the next four years!! THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND! Titans clashing, baseball cultures warring, etc.
USA/JAPAN! Sunday March 22, 8pm, ESPN! Plan your evening accordingly.
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--David Wright, heroically injured in the toe
--how dare you take a walk with a man in scoring position, how DARE you
--Ryan Garko Fed-Ex'd his own 1B glove to Mark DeRosa because DeRosa did not have one
--Brian Roberts =/= Dave Roberts, Joel Hanrahan =/= Jim Hanrahan, no matter what Jon Miller may tell us
--Munenori Kawasaki turned himself into a left-handed hitter because he was an Ichiro fanboy
--JOHN GRABOW
--Panama Hat Man was shown chatting with Tommy Lasorda and Sadaharu Oh, too amazing to be truth, and yet it is truth
--Rule 34
--Derek Jeter is the ultimate Fail for America
Many thanks to Tony, Snuppy the Hound, ivantopumpyouup, and 2632 for excoriating the everliving hell out of Derek Jeter here with me tonight.Labels: Japan, liveblog, USA, World Baseball Classic
10:48 PM
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
ELIMINATION! Japan vs. Cuba, winner plays tomorrow for seeding, loser goes home. Two teams that care VERY DEEPLY about this tournament, and will be GREATLY HUMILIATED if they lose. Someone is going to feel very, very bad at the end of this one! YOU ARE EXCITED TO WATCH IT!!
The Battle for Orestes Destrade's Heart!
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--when it is foggy, turn off the freakin' greenscreen ads, just turn them off, they will not work properly
--Orestes Destrade knows all the languages
--Ariel Pestano is SO ANGRY
--Yulieski Gonzalez and Ariel Pestano= hatelove
--Hisashi Iwakuma is groundball pitching magic
--Hisashi Iwakuma= Bambi
--don't use illegal drugs, or Dave Winfield will bust you
--Ismel Jimenez has a hypnotic ass
Many thanks to Tony, ivantopumpyouup, and Snuppy the Hound for suffering through the fog and ESPN2's determination to give their sponsors what they paid for, even though it was screwing up the entire broadcast!Labels: Cuba, Japan, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
2:07 PM
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Pool A rematch! Korea/Japan, the return of The Rivalry. This will be an 11pm start, to keep us suffering on the opposite end of the gametime spectrum, and it will be on MLBN. Alas.
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--giant Korean drum, awesome but not available in the WBC store, like all good things
--other Things We Badly Want That the WBC Store Does Not Carry Because They Do Not Actually Want Our Money: four-color WBC pens, WBC logo baseball gloves, those sweet matte team Japan batting helmets, stuffed toy versions of Snuppy the cloned Korean Afghan hound
--Yong-Kyu Lee= Korean Ozzie Guillen
--Yu Darvish will never play in MLB, unless he goes back on his Solemnly Sworn Word
--the 61 mph pitch thrown by Shunsuke Watanabe shall henceforth be known as the suhpee pitch, opposite of the eephus
--inexplicable plastic bag hats
Many thanks to Tony, Snuppy the Hound, ivantopumpyouup, and briefly Jennifer and stillawakward for enjoying this Battle of the Thunderstix in glorious liveblog action.
Japan has been humiliated by Korea again, how will it all end?? Tragically, somehow, I expect.Labels: Japan, Korea, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
3:55 PM
Sunday, March 15, 2009
A return to liveblogging after a brief hiatus! I know you are all terribly, terribly excited, by which I mean that I fully expect to be doing this one on my own. Expect rambling. I believe that our announcing team will consist of Gary Thorne, Steve Phillips, and Orel Hershiser.
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--Orestes!!!!
--Panama Hat Radar Gun Man!!
--Yosvani Peraza= Cuban Cecil Fielder
--Japan headed to America with humiliation in their hearts
--Orestes Destrade is a multilingual genius of words
--the first Japanese player in MLB was not Hideo Nomo, stop lying to us ESPN2
--San Diego sunlight hates baseball
--Steve Phillips has been sneaking into WBC ballplayer hotel rooms and also going with them to SeaWorld
--Ariel Pestano= Cuban Mike Sciosia
--Yulieski Gonzalez looks like Jeff Francoeur a little bit, true fact
--ORESTES!!!!
Many thanks to Snuppy the Hound and ivantopumpyouup for joining me in this exercise in baseball humiliation!Labels: Cuba, Japan, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
1:08 PM
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Just another quick note to let you know that the 6:30 pm Wednesday USA/Venezuela Pool C final will be liveblogged right over here at RotT. OUR EXCITEMENT KNOWS NO BOUNDS.Labels: blognews, World Baseball Classic
6:08 PM
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Just a quick note to say that the liveblog for the Italy/Venezuela WBC game will be over here at RotT if you want to play along. There should be at least a couple Tigers starting, so I figured that was probably the right place for it.
Will Italy get mercy rule'd? Will we see an upset on a par with the Netherlands/DR fiasco? ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC!Labels: blognews, World Baseball Classic
2:44 PM
Monday, March 09, 2009
The last Tokyo Dome game of the 2009 World Baseball Classic. On the one hand, yay: no more Sickeningly-Early-o'clock start times! On the other hand: the last game of this WBC that Orestes Destrade will broadcast.
:(
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--Hisashi Iwakuma= Japanese Mike Mussina
--Jung Keun Bong, the Korean starting pitcher, is an Ichiro fanboy and needed a moment every time Ichiro came to the plate
--rocket of arms
--Orestes Destrade makes the worst Stu Scott/boo-ya joke in the history of the world
--Yu Darvish, sexy in both the pitching sense and the literal, posed naked for a magazine sense
Many thanks to ivantopumpyouup and stillawkward, who joined me for this last and best bit of pre-breakfast baseball and frantic Google Images searches for the naked photos of Yu Darvish.
We will miss you, Tokyo Dome! ORESTES DESTRADE AND SUPER "DRY" FOREVER!!
 Labels: Japan, Korea, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
12:39 AM
Sunday, March 08, 2009
I do not promise that this will work because I will be relying on a sneaky wireless signal, but I am going to try to liveblog a game that is not in Pool A. South Africa vs. Cuba, 2 pm Sunday afternoon. There are two underwear models on the South African team and basically nobody on their roster actually plays baseball; I expect this will be fun. Or terrible! Or terribly good fun.
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--Norge Vera is the new El Duque
--Charley Steiner is a terrible play-by-play man
--South Africa's only functional play is the pick-off move
--Charley Steiner hates baseball and fun
--Team Cuba's trainer is Fidel Castro's son
--Pool B is the worst pool
--dude in the Panama hat with the enormous cigar is awesome and should have announced the game
--seriously fuck Charley Steiner, he is trying to ruin baseball
Thanks to ivantopumpyouup, Snuppy the Hound, and briefly ashmark for suffering, suffering so much.
This was the worst game.Labels: Cuba, liveblog, South Africa, World Baseball Classic
8:40 AM
Sunday morning, feel the excitement.
Ah, nothing quite like a little elimination baseball to add some zest to your hideously early Sunday morning. China and Korea face off here, and the loser will be heading back home. Red vs. Blue! Great Wall vs. Thunderstix! Team that was defeated by Japan vs. Team that was defeated by Japan! WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC!
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--DID YOU KNOW THE GREAT WALL, CHINA, FROM SPACE
--only announcers may acquire the glorious four-color WBC pen
--Suk-Min Yoon is good at pitching baseballs
--bento boxes
--Sun Lingfeng= Chinese Ichiro
--Dae Ho Lee= Korean Adam Dunn
--I want that fucking pen
Thanks again to ivantopumpyouup, who likes keeping me company and loves baseball and hates sleep.
THE CAMPAIGN TO HAVE ORESTES DESTRADE ANNOUNCE EVERY SINGLE GAME IN THE REST OF THE WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC BEGINS NOW!Labels: China, Korea, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
12:11 AM
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Two liveblogs in one day, what is this madness? This is Blue Cats and Red Sox! THIS IS THE WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC!
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--"Weglarz"
--Russell Martin loves his mother
--the 13th inning starts with men on base, the 16th inning is decided by curling, the 21st inning is the start of 'naked time'
--Canadian stereotypes
--Team USA brings all the Jews to the yard
--Jimmy Rollins and David Wright are in the delicate beginning stages of a truly beautiful relationship
--The People want more Curtis Granderson
--French insults for French Canadians
--Adam Dunn is adorably excited by the WBC and we kind of love him
Many thanks to ivantopumpyouup, Snuppy the Hound, Tom Clifton, stillawkward, ashmark, and Siani for joining me to become way too stressed out over non-regular-season baseball. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!Labels: Canada, liveblog, USA, World Baseball Classic
8:19 AM
Friday, March 06, 2009
Three 4 am wakeups in a row, for no reason at all-- except for WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC GLORY! Am I crazy or am I.... no, I'm crazy. Here we go for the winner's bracket of the second round of Pool A play. The enormous Japan/Korea rivalry! The Tokyo Dome!
Thunderstix! SUPER "DRY"!
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--Daisuke Matsuzaka pitches like he's having sex with the game of baseball
--when they implement the mercy rule, everyone wins, except for Korean national pride
--Norichika Aoki has the best name for Tokyo Dome chants
--gyroball
--if you're fat you're a power hitter, if you're skinny but still hit homeruns you're a 'nonpower power hitter'
--baseball statistic abbreviations, for grate lulz
--grackles
Many thanks to ivantopumpyouup, famous cloned Afghan Snuppy the Hound, and Tom Clifton for contributing to this exercise in waking up early to lovingly stroke the dewy flank of international baseball. Sorry your boys lost, ivan, but, um.... yeah, no, sorry, there were no positives to that performance.Labels: Japan, Korea, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
10:29 PM
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Oh no not another one! I am just doing these for my own purposes-- if you want to follow along or join in, you are more than welcome to do so, but I'll be livebloggin' away even if it's just me. This one will go live for Chinese Taipei (Taiwan)/Korea, Friday, 4:30 am.
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--Korea invented Thunderstix
--Korea cloned a dog and named it Snuppy
--Korea is Orestes Destrade's favorite Pool A team because they have fat players
--pitcher Jung Keun Bong is an Ichiro fanboy
--Chinese Taipei is terrible at baseballLabels: Korea, liveblog, Taiwan, World Baseball Classic
10:57 PM
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Liveblog of the first game of the 2009 World Baseball Classic. Oh yes. I am EXACTLY that crazy.
Well, that was exciting. Regular RotT commenter ivantopumpyouup was also awake to keep me company and watch LIVE BASEBALL FROM THE TOKYO DOME. The entire liveblog (which is basically just the two of us rambling) can be viewed above at any time simply by clicking "replay" in that box up there. It is probably deadly boring, but if you're sitting at work bored out of your mind, maybe it will be less boring than that.
SUPER "DRY"!
postscript: things we learned from this game:
--China has first and last names on the backs of their jerseys
--pitcher Yu Darvish is really, really good
--CHINA= GREAT WALL
--JAPAN= MT. FUJI
--MLB 2K9 should be boycotted by everyone because of their terrifying digital Tim Lincecum ad
--Ichiro is a sexy beast even when he's not hitting
--US and Asian League baseballs are made out of different dead animals
--Orestes Destrade likes meaty ballplayers
--do not question SUPER "DRY"Labels: China, Japan, liveblog, World Baseball Classic
8:53 PM
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